OH, I AM NOT A WIFE MATERIAL. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MARRY ME!!!!

Men, especially Nigerian men, are obsessed with the idea of a wife material. If you are not Nigerian, let me say this in simpler terms. A wife material is a marriageable woman, someone that fits into the description of what society expects a woman should be, someone your great grandparents would approve of.

Sweet man, thank you for thinking I am a spec, but I AM NOT A WIFE MATERIAL!. I feel like this needs to be said. I find it hilarious when men or “almost” men think being with me is going to be so good. LOL, bruh, I only look good on paper. I am not a “good woman,” but I am trying to save you from premium tears because I love you. Here are 7 reasons you do not want to marry me.

I HAVE OPINIONS AND CAN BE PRETTY HEADY ABOUT THEM.

“No one wants a woman who nags” says every man. The problem is when people say a woman who nags, it most likely is going to be a woman who has a different opinion from you and lets you know. Oh, then I am a nagging wife, and you don’t want me. I have opinions and I want you to listen to them. Granted you don’t have to agree with me. That is fine — expected even, because we are two different individuals. But if there is going to be a resolution, we are going to have to be diplomatic. I know you don’t want that because you are the “man” of the house and there cannot be two captains in one boat. Well, good for you. However, I am not your child. Never have and never would be. I am a full grown adult, with thoughts, emotions and a mind of her own. You would not enforce your own rules on me. Oh, I know you would blame my parents and say they could have done better raising me for you. Let me let you know they tried. I mean one day my mum looked at me and threw her hands in resignation and said “I don’t think you can be under a man”. Which is fine because I am a bird and like to fly, being under might just suffocate me. So go find a well brought up girl groomed for marriage, because my parents “failed” in that aspect.

I DON’T NEED YOU.

Do you know one of my best quotes since I was 13? Okay, let me let you know.

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”

I have never thought a relationship or marriage was a do-or-die affair. I still don’t. So don’t expect me to give you a crown or make so much fuss because you asked to marry me. If anything, I would be terrified. I mean, this is a lifelong commitment, and I would be stuck with you for the rest of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I would love you. I may want you even for the butterflies, happiness, and support you bring. Or how you make my life so much brighter. Still, my existence or happiness would never be tied to yours. I would make sure of that. I know some men love to be needed, But I won’t need you. I would be ready to walk away at any point in time. I would make contingency plans should things fall apart. I know it may scare you, but I am simply looking out for myself, and you should too. So if you want a woman who clearly worships the ground you walk on and would kill herself to keep you, Then you can see, I don’t fit into that box.

I AM GOING TO BE VERY SUCCESSFUL, LIKE VERY!

My mom always says she is terrified I am going to be very successful and scare men away, so I should try and find someone now (LOL). Honestly, I don’t know what is so intimidating about a successful woman, but that one is not my cup of tea. I am going to have a lot of money and properties in my name. If we are married, then maybe we may get in our name. Oh, did I tell you I might keep my surname or probably hyphenate yours? I know you are a mama’s boy, and she would feel you are being emasculated. So honor your parents and stay away from me, so you can live long on earth.

Back to being successful, I intend to get to all the heights I have dreamt of and would fight for it, married or not. If you know you can’t keep up, or my success would threaten yours and make you feel “less of a man,” then save your tears and energy, sweet man. Life is not that hard. There are plenty of fishes in the river. Why chase one that demands so much from the sea or threatens you when you can get a gentler fish that just wants to be caught and is happy in the net.

I AM GOING TO HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE

You know that crap that men are polygamous in nature and other BS that men hide under? I won’t accept it. I would hold you and you alone responsible for your actions, not hormones or science or society. I won’t fast and pray for your half-trained ass or cry for days because you are just a bunch of bad behavior. I would just term you grossly irresponsible, and I do not want an irresponsible man. So, if you want someone to excuse your bad behaviors, choose someone else because I wasn’t brought up to endure what I can change. If I get tired of your irresponsible ways and leave, Nothing can bring me back. Not my parents, not society, and definitely not friends. I know you would want a woman who is tied to what people think, so she endures, but I don’t care. And a woman that doesn’t care is a dangerous person. What did your parents tell you about danger?

I EXPECT EQUALITY AND RESPECT

If you are not carried away by the curve of my waist, sway of my hips and the fact I am a smart woman, you may have noticed I am just another “angry” feminist. So, I am trying to bring you back to reality — I am an “angry” feminist. I expect equality and respect. To make it easier for you, I am going to be your partner, if the term wife makes you think of someone under your control. Oh, don’t be a smart ass, expecting equality doesn’t exclude you from being sweet and treating me like the love of your life. I expect candle light dinners, thoughtful gifts ( oh yes, for the record, you can call me materialistic), opening doors for me and other sweet things. Don’t worry, I love showering my men with love too.

Now aside from all the romantic gestures and the argument of “wanting to be the small spoon when cuddling”, I want decisions and most things done on the basis of equality and mutual respect. Don’t expect of me, things you don’t expect of yourself. Don’t treat me like your child or make decisions on your own and expect me to follow them. This is our ship, and I expect to navigate it with you — I am not going to be an onlooker.

I AM NOT YOUR DEFINITION OF DOMESTIC

I know your mother was the “cook of the decade” and always did everything to make your family work. I know she is a proverb 31 woman, and that is great. But, I am not your mother, neither do I expect to be. My food may probably make you weep because it is so basic, and you will wish you married someone like your mother. So you see, I don’t want you to live a life of regrets. Besides, I don’t like cooking or chores. So don’t expect to be excluded from it. Before you tell me you don’t like cooking or it is supposed to be my job, remember the equality rule and the part where you do not demand of me what you don’t expect of yourself. So, if we are to have homemade food, expect me to be in the kitchen with your shirt, and you are doing some parts of the cooking tasks, except I exclude you. Oh, I know your mom will be disappointed in you, and your friends will laugh that your wife has turned you into a “woman” that is why I am sparing you from making a terrible mistake.

I DON’T WANT TO MARRY YOU BECAUSE MY SPIRIT SAYS NO

Honestly, if you don’t fit into the person that wants to marry me, then the probability that I also don’t want to is 99.997%. Once my spirit says no, which it is most likely going to, I don’t even bother. I have found my spirit reliable, so there is no need to come at me with “thus saith the lord” when we both know the Lord has not said anything.

PS. I am going to be a great partner, just not the partner for you.

Double PS😂: P.S To support my story by buying me a cup of coffee click here